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How Not to Pick Up Girls

December 10, 2012

hangoutonholiday

In the flirting game all guys have their own strategies. Some come off really strong and sweep girls off their feet, others play the funny card and so on. However, there are out there a couple of really, really bad pick up lines and no girl wants to hear them. Here’s a brief but relevant selection:

  • Are you religious? [Why?] Because you’re the answer to my prayers. Seriously? Did you also pray for her to roll back her eyes and leave? Because this kind of corniness will only get you that far.
  • Is it hot in here or is it just you? Are you actually hoping that she’ll giggle and say “no, it’s actually a bit of you, too”?
  • Remember me? Oh that’s right, I’ve met you only in my dreams. And that’s the only place you’ll ever get to know each other better!
  • You want me. I can smell it. Sweet Lord! Are you a dog? What’s next? Are you going to hump her leg?
  • Can I have your picture? [Why?] So I can show Santa what I want for Christmas! Obviously you were not a good boy this year because you’re definitely not getting that for Christmas!
  • If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d put I and U together. Then it’s a good thing you can’t do this and U and I are naturally so far apart.
  • Your feet must be tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all day long. Yes, let’s show an obsessive side right from the beginning!
  • If I followed you home would you keep me? Just don’t. Stalking hints are a definite no-no!
  • You’re ugly but you intrigue me. Are you actually trying to get slapped?
  • I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away! You do know that punching the chest is also a CPR technique, right?
  • Do you believe in love at first sight or should I pass again? This is so old it’s probably written somewhere on the pyramids.
  • Baby, somebody better call God ‘cause he’s missing an angel! Really? The angel thing? We all know it’s all about bad girls these days.
  • Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I’m lost at sea. Oh you, lonely sailor you… There’s probably no piece of land on her that you’ll be uncovering too soon.

Now let’s face it, would you even want to be with someone who falls for this kind of cheap stuff? And it’s not even much of a science, but you just have to be creative and say something that comes natural to that particular situation.

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